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The Blattiad

Chronicle of a Purple Bear

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Skipped Back 10

May 6th, 2007


I must admit, I am sorry for having taken so long to make another entry.  I know that my last one ended in a bit of a cliff-hanger, but the events that followed have me harrowed, and I only now can begin to take a breath and set them down.


Perhaps it is regrettable that I cannot go into everything here, but I will say that my mother and her family have been under some extreme pressure – and it really is all my Uncle Don’s fault.


Let’s begin with a very simple family dynamic and essential family tree.  My mother’s parents are now both dead – with my grandmother passing away about ten years ago, now.  Wow – it’s hard to believe.  But, anyway – the essential players in this drama are my Mother and my Step-Father (George), along with her sister (Aunt Jo) and her husband (Uncle Jim), as well as their brother (Uncle Don) and Pat (who is one of those relations that was married into the family at one time, but has since become widowed or divorced – but still is considered to be part of the family, even though I only found out about her within the past few years).  There are other siblings in my mother’s family, but they do not come into play here.


When I was very young, around first or second grade, my mother’s family (Mother, Grandmother, Aunt Jo, and myself) all bundled up one Easter to go see my Uncle Don and Aunt Jean married in California.  What I did not know at the time, was that Jean was not his first wife.  Now, keep in mind, that my Uncle has multiple degrees in English / Journalism – so, of course, he decided to become a Man of God, and go to Mexico to become a missionary.  Now, growing up in a Southern Baptist Church with a VERY strong emphasis on missions, it was kinda cool to have missionaries in the family.  They were in Mexico for years, winning Catholics from the Papacy.  My uncle preached and my Aunt Jean ran a free clinic.  I even got to visit them a couple of times in Baja California for a couple of weeks during the summer – it really was great.


One of the interesting things about my Aunt Jean is that she is Canadian, and her mother (Nan) came directly from England.  When Nan fell into ill health, they moved up to Calgary, Alberta to be with her – adopting a little Mexican boy along the way, who is of course my cousin Timmy.  (Tim is great – he’s obviously Hispanic with a Canadian accent.)  When I was in High School, I got to go visit them a couple of times there – and even go the to Calgary Stampede (the world’s larges rodeo).


My family has always card for my Aunt Jean, and even after my Uncle Don decided to leave her and Tim to move to Alaska, my mother declared that she was still part of the family.  My uncle never actually divorced her, but married a Mexican lady that he met there by the name of Ellie – by whom he had his son, Donnie Ike.  He was in his sixties at the time – and there was always some question, since he and Jean had tried for a number of years.


This goes on for about ten years, until he decides that he can’t take it any more and has to move to Texas.  He is so inept, that my mother, my aunt, my uncle, and Pat (a married-in-and-now-widowed relation) all had to go to Alaska (from Texas) to help him just get out of the house.  He had papers still all over the house and hadn’t even packed.  He just left Donnie Ike and Ellie, just like he left Aunt Jean and Tim.


Well, when he got to Texas, he was living in an apartment in a retirement community in Fort Worth for a while – not too terribly far from my Mother’s family.  He never actually found a job, even though he has multiple degrees and has taught before.  Instead, he moved in with Pat.  Now, Pat is retired and is independently wealthy.  We’ve visited her apartment where they both live – and there is only one bed.  He has no car, and (as my mother puts it) is a kept man.  And, trust me, he’s not that good looking of a man.  No one has bothered to ask where he sleeps, but everyone seems to be convinced that they are having relations and living in sin.


Now, get this – here it starts getting interesting – Ellie moves to Texas, as well, to teach Spanish on campus in Laredo.  (The funny part about it is that Mother can’t think why anyone in Laredo would need to learn Spanish – and doesn’t realize there is a difference between being able to speak an language and taking the class for college credit.)


Now, Donnie Ike came to visit for Christmas, and all of my mother’s family is convinced he is being neglected if not abused by Ellie.  And, my Aunt Jo took a very strong liking to Donnie Ike while he was here – and invited him to come and visit some this Summer.  Well, ever since then, Uncle Don has been trying to get them to agree to allow Donnie Ike to move in with them after visiting this summer.  What’s more, he’s decided that Donnie will stay with Jim and Jo during the week for his stay while getting a job (at 14 with no car) and then be passed off from them to Don and Pat for the weekend, then back again for the week.  (Keep in mind that the trip from Jim and Jo’s to Pat’s apartment is about two hours travel time.)


But, the thing is – and Jim and Jo are considering this, for the simple fact that Don is in his seventies and in all reality cannot care for a teenager on his own – Don has done nothing in any legal sense to give them any sort of custody or even guardianship of Donnie Ike – even though they keep trying to speak to and rendezvous with the both of them to put all of this together.  (That was one thing that was going to be discussed after the birthday lunch.)  Evidently, he has been saying one thing to my Aunt, another thing to my Mother, and now we find out that he has been telling Donnie Ike that all of this has already been settled and will be happening.


So, it seems that Don is trying to pit members of the family against each other, for no other reason than he is bored and has nothing else to do.  So, as a result, my mother has decided that her brother, Ellie, and Pat are all from the Pit of Hell and the Abyss itself.

April 21st, 2007

My Mother and the Exorcist



The trip down to Texas was uneventful – which, needless to say, is just the way I like it.  I spent it listening to Barnes & Noble’s Portable Professor Series on music appreciation, called “More Than Motzart.”


Everyone feels terrible lately – it seems allergy season seems to have just attacked with full force.  Mother and Rachael are both coughing – and I feel like I have a fever.  But, I’ve been popping pills and Vitamin C.


Mother and I had Friday together.  Rachael actually have a Discipleship weekend at church, so she will not be at the lunch on Saturday when we all meet for our family’s April birthdays – mine, George (my stepfather), and my Uncle Don.


My mother keeps saying that she has a taste for the unusual – she is the one, after all, that turned me on to the Twilight Zone.  She loves sci-fi, and even talked me into watching the original ALIEN.  Keep in mind that she BEGGED me to bring my movies, because she is desperate for anything other than what she has there to watch, and she likes my taste in movies.  Granted, she doesn’t do horror movies, but she and my sister love my taste in independent films.  George, needless to say, does not care for it – he always says my tastes are “weird.”  Well, they are.  I’ve never cared for the “ordinary.”  *grin*  She wanted something different, so with my mother’s religious context, I thought that she would care for

THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE – because it’s a really good movie.


She did like it, but she began criticizing the exorcist’s technique.  She also began to explain that a man she knew (who had helped her through at time when she was – according to her - under demonic attack) had performed exorcisms and had cast out this same six demons in concert from another person.  She completely dismissed any of the medical explanations, and informed me that epilepsy was of a demonic source and a form of possession.


She agrees with the star witness for the Defense, and now believes that she is a “hypersensitive,” and more prone to attack from alien forces.


That evening, I met up with Sara, Dylan, and Bryce – and we all went to Pappadeaux – a Cajun place.  I had Mahi Mahi for the first time in ages, and it was excellent.  It came with some great dirty rice – very similar to Dylan’s dirty rice – but he confided in me that there is a missing ingredient in his – he does not use pig liver.  Hmmm – never knew I was eating pig liver.  It was good.  *grin*


Gonna meet up with them again tonight (Saturday) to go see THE REAPING.


I’ll detail the events of today later – I really need a separate entry for the nuances of the meeting for the April birthdays.  I have no idea what my uncle is doing.  He really is tearing this family apart at the seams.  We do have our problems, I admit – but my uncle seems to be downright malicious – and my mother (who sees “a demon behind every doorknob,” by her own admission) has decided that he is specifically under the control of Satan himself.


More on that later.


April 20th, 2007

My Midnight Vigil


 Wow – I have to get this down before too much time passes, but it took some time before I could put the experience into words – but words still fail to describe it.


To begin with, Wednesday was a busy day / evening for me all in all.  Jackson and I went out to eat – I introduced him to Johnny Carino’s, and I really think he enjoyed himself a great deal.  The food really was excellent.  We both had a great time, but I think we are also


I also had to finalize some details for this weekend with Mother.  I had to deliver a set of cords I had been braiding to donate to the champion’s baskets for Wiesenfeuer Baronial this weekend (because I was going to be missing it).  And, of course, there were the general getting ready to go out of town.


Once I actually left for the Memorial, it took some very real time to find it, and the directions that I got did not take any of the area construction into account.  I was trying to arrive there right about midnight.  As I was arriving, there was one car parked near me on the street – and as I was getting out, two people made their way from the Memorial to the car and left – so it was just me.


There is a church on both the north and south sides of the Memorial, and as it turns out each has built attached to their own property as a kind of extension of or their own memorial to the events of twelve years ago.  I arrived at the northwest corner, near a statuary near the local Catholic Church.  It was a figure of Christ turning away from the site of the blast, in front of a wall of beautiful black rough-hewn stone – with a missing stone or niche for each of the 168 victims in the tragedy.


It was very sobering to read my birthday printed there – and has always given me the feeling that I have a connection to these events.  I crossed the street, trying to decide how it is I should approach this.  The first thing that really struck me was the northern gate, marked 9:03 – it is huge – and the chain-link fence erected shortly after the disaster that is covered with memorabilia left by visitors.  There are beads, name tags, hair berets, pictures, wreaths, poems, keys, key chains.  And, I saw a paper crane hanging from the fence – at which I really couldn’t hold back tears.  It turns out that they do take these things down and save them in the basement – to be used later in an exhibit in its own right. 


Incidentally, I have been folding paper cranes ever since I discovered the cranes hanging in the museum there.  I am still in the process of folding 1000 paper cranes.  I send one to my sister every week.  I must admit, it has been (and continues to be) a transformative experience.


From there, stepped into the grounds of the Memorial itself.  It was a cool night.  I had only been once before, five years ago – during the day.  This time, I got to see how beautiful all of this can be at night.  The Field of Empty Chairs has one chair for each of the victims – some of which had fresh flowers.  What really got me were the smaller chairs for each of the children.  They were all lit up from their bases.  The lawn was immaculately kept, and at the far southern edge is the one remaining wall of the Murrah Building – with a list of survivors from the disaster.


There is more from the evening – it all took me about an hour and a half to make through, and not all of which am I going to write about.  I found the reflection pool, with the reflection of the Gates of Time to be extremely striking, particularly at night.  What I did not know, was that the playground of the daycare center is fenced off, it touched me greatly.  There was a great sense of closure, and I think the beginning of a tradition that I want to continue.


I’m sorry to cut it so short, but the impressions of it all are more difficult to put into words than I thought.  I find it so very comforting that the families of these people have a place to come and remember.  There is much hope there, and I find it personally encouraging.


More later.


Here is a link to the Memorial’s Site:


January 3rd, 2007

Computer is Up Again

It took four days to get my computer back up and running. I borrowed an XP CD from Jackson, so got to install XP again. But, that took overnight to do all of that. I did it Tuesday night, after we went to dinner, but bowed out of the show. We are going tonight, but of course I forgot that tonight was populace. That’s ok, I can go next time. Gonna see THE PRESTIGE with Jackson. I really do love that show. I intend to own it.

New Year’s Day at work was blessedly slow. Fortunately, not a lot of people knew we were open. Calls have been coming back up to queue level over the course of the past few days. Today was not too bad, I just got caught on a long call after work.

It’s kinda funny – we had an email the other day asking Cingular employees not to post information about the upcoming Mobile MySpace, saying that it was a violation of non-disclosure. Oh, by the way, we had to agree to a non-disclosure thing before the end of the year – the damn thing actually is binding to my HEIRS. Too funny.


But, I now have my browser loaded, as well as my anti-spy and virus scanning.

That took forever last night.

But, I’m at work waiting for Jackson to hang up on his last call. It is evidently a little Indian man who doesn’t understand that the charge has already been taken off of his bill. I feel for him.

I hope we go for dinner first - I'm starving, and MUST HAVE some sort of FRESH VEGGIES. Souper Salad, I hope. :)

I don’t know if I’m gonna go to Coronation. It’s in Burkburnett, by the Texas border, and I just don’t know if I have the endurance for it.

I have to do some more shopping for 12th Night, but I really cannot wait.

We’ll see.

January 1st, 2007

I Spoke Too Soon

All right, I admit it.

I spoke too soon.

My computer failed twice again, so I called Dell's tech support starting about midnight Sunday night. The tech had me run a complete hardware diagnostic, which passed by the following morning. When I called back, we tried to hop on the Net to download a crash diagnostic program (kinda scary they have those, isn't it?), but kept crashing as soon as I connected. The error I was getting was, evidently, the most generic error WINDOWS XP can give: something's wrong.

So, I came up with the idea to connect via Becca's computer, save it to CD, then run it on my computer. It worked, and the diagnostic came back with "no matches found." The tech was a little surprised, since he's never heard of that kind of thing happening before.

The only option left is to completely re-install. Well, as it turns out, I don't have the WINDOWS XP disk. It wasn't included in my order, so they have to send me one. It actually was never included in the order because my dad ordered it via his business account, and businesses usually have these things coming out their ears. With the holiday, it should arrive around Wednesday, and I can just call them back to walk me through it. I am now without my computer - and in only a few days I've become attached at the hip to the thing. :)

I really need to educate myself on what I have. I picked up a copy of THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO WINDOWS XP - I love the Idiot's Guide series, they are really good and a great read.

Granted, all of this is a pain, but it could not have happened at a better time. After all, if we just re-install everything there's really nothing to lose. I haven't had time to put anything valuable on my computer yet.

But, I did find out that my machine is a really good one. I asked the tech about game capability, and he said the major drawback for laptops and games is their graphic capability - and that mine is fine. He says I've got plenty of memory to go running around in. I've done some shopping around - I want to pick up some of the classic SIM games: SimCity, SimIsland, SimScraper, and the like.

I was really thinking about getting a PS2 after the holidays were up, but I'm still going to wait on that. I actually want to get a little more settled with my writing routine before I do that.

G'night, all. I haven't gone out today at all: slept most of it, and enjoyed SG1. The second season is proving to be promising. I just have a couple of questions: How many times is Daniel Jackson going to die and come back? And, are we EVER going to shut up about that dead gould in Samantha's gullet? :) I'm enjoying the show, but it's becomming a bit cliche already. However, from what I understand, this show just doesn't take itself seriously.

December 31st, 2006

Friday was a really long day. You have no idea how tempted I was to just take the point against my attendance and just not show up. But, I just didn’t want to do that.

I got my wireless card on Friday, which made it worth it. I’m working on my connection now. Although, and this is Saturday, I have already had my computer crash – as in the whole BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH. However, I called tech support, they had me restart and updated my BIOS. It seems to be fine now.

After work on Friday, drove to Tulsa through the driving rain to visit my friend Brian. We actually had a great time. Watched ALL ABOUT EVE today – his favorite movie. I’d never seen it, but I was very impressed. I never realized how much Amy looks like Betty Davis. I need to call the Box and see if they are interested in doing it on stage. Amy would be fantastic.

Came back to OKC today, Saturday afternoon, and realized just how SLEEPY that long and endless drive between here and there makes me. I finished up with OLIVER TWIST on the way up, and started on PRIDE AND PREJUDICE today. But, I found my mind wandering, so I’m probably going to have to start the first disk over again. That’s all right – I do enjoy Jane Austin. I adore SENSE AND SENSIBILITY, and finally making my way around to her flagship.

I introduced Becca to THE PRESTIGE tonight at the Dollar Flick, and she LOVED it. I’ve been going on about this movie like crazy. This is gonna be my choice on Tuesday night, hopefully can talk Jackson into seeing it.

800-FREE-411!!! It’s FREE Directory Assistance!!!

December 27th, 2006

The Third Day of Christmas

Well, I must admit that though I am much in the holiday spirit, I’m glad that most of it is over now. I’m exhausted. The trip to Texas is always taxing on its own, and trying to cram all the family in at once just made it worse.

I am very proud of myself – I am now working on this entry on my own laptop using a local WiFi connection in a library. Starbucks wanted to charge – evidently there is a subscription you have to pay to T-Mobile, which I just really can’t afford, anyway.

Yesterday at work was nothing short of horrid. I can’t believe how short-staffed we were, and today was no different. There is not a manager as far as the eye can see. The funny part is that there is no wait for the Resolution Desk. Today was just a long day all around, and I’m glad it’s over.

It started last night, when I couldn’t sleep. You see, I laid awake all night worried that I wasn’t going to get enough sleep because I had to pick Becca up at the bus station at half-past five – for the simple fact that she needed a ride. So, of course, I over slept. I was going to do some cleaning last night, but the evening just ran too late. You see, I had forgotten my diabetic kit at Tyg & Morot’s place when I left from Christmas, and I didn’t realize this until late Christmas night. I called them after work, and said they found it under one of the tables and come on down. Well, I didn’t really want to make the trip alone – so I bribed Jackson with dinner to drive me down there. It worked, and it was so good to see him. I just missed him all around.. I introduced him to the concept of Mongolian BBQ. *grin* We actually had a great time. All of this put me home about ten, and I just couldn’t get to sleep.

With fitful sleep, I woke up to the last alarm on my phone at 5am. I shot out of bed, and hit the floor running. I grabbed some clothes, ran down to the car, and ended up going the wrong way, because that sleep-logic kicked in. Fully conscious of the fact I was running to get Becca, and that I needed to hurry – I headed out to work, because that was where I go when I leave the house taking this route in a hurry. Anyway, I realized this after a few minutes, and found the bus station downtown – John was kind enough to email me directions. The funny part about all this is that the bus was about an hour late. (I forgot, trains run early, busses run late.) But anyway, she called me from the bus, and we shivered in the OH SO cold waiting for the attendant to find her luggage.

She was SO glad to be home. It was a fifteen hour trip: from Kentucky to Oklahoma, by way of St Louis? I don’t understand, but that’s evidently just how it is. I actually enjoy the bus as a mode of transportation – I’ve taken it before, and it was actually a pleasant experience. Becca swears she will never take another bus again, but my thought on the matter was that she just didn’t have a traveling companion. I think that if she and I traveled together, we would have a good trip. All we’d have to do is break out the Cribbage board, and we would be set for a number of hours, at the least. *grin*

I didn’t get my Christmas cards out, and I hate it.

Oh well, I may get them out by Twelfth Night.

Oh! Speaking of Twelfth Night! I’ve talked Jackson in riding down with me that weekend. It will give me good company for the drive there and back, and I think he’ll have a great time. Elanore has me judging the Kingdom Competition with her and Ulf this year. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it or not, but then again – I’ve only judges one of these, and it’s probably gonna be a while before I get a chance to judge one again. I’ve just got to go trolling for largesse. I think Jackson can take care of himself at the event – I do kinda hope he hangs around and watches the competition. I’m sure it will be very interesting. I’m all kinds of fiending for Coronation, the only thing is that it seems to be during the WEEK this year? I have no idea. I’ve got to give Druin a call, too. Must ask about if the Elfesea Baronial tent has walls, and ask about this mid-week Coronation thing.

Oh, my wireless card is being sent tomorrow, along with some other stuff, but I’m not sure what all my dad is sending. He mentioned that I left without my stocking, but we didn’t’ DO stockings with his side of the family. I hope he sends me all of the attendant documentation. I’ve got to get in touch with Cingular to find out how this thing’s gonna work. I called Sprint last night, since they basically sell the same kind of product, and asked some questions.

I’ll be seeing Glenn later on this month. We’ll be shopping for a data stick for my laptop. He is started writing again, as have I. I want to work on writing an hour each night (and, no, this does not count), reading up on WRITER’S DIGEST, and reading at least one style / publishing / writer’s book each month. I am very excited to be writing again. I’m just so very pleased to have a medium in which to work.

All right, well, library is about to close down, and I’m about to fall over.

Gotta pick up bird seed, spoons, and milk on the way home tonight.

Oh, and don’t forget to use 800-FREE-411 for you Directory Assistance calls! It’s free of charge, and only uses your minutes if you are on your cell. Been trying to tell Mother about it, but she’s all caught up in the after-Christmas rush.

Happy Third Day of Christmas, everyone!

December 26th, 2006

"I am Agog I am Agast . . ."

I am floored.

I really am.

This entire weekend went by in a whirlwind. As ususal, too much crammed into too little space.

But, I can't believe that things actually happened the way they did.

I drove down Friday night, and the trip took about 6 hours with the Holiday traffic, and the like. Stayed the night at my mother's, just to make everything easier. Had to be up early for Chistmas with my father's family on Saturday. My mother, now that I had arrived, was determined that I was stealing time away from her.

Well, I got exactly what I asked for for Christmas.

Sara, my cousin, got me a subscription to WRITER'S DIGEST Magazine. I am thrilled. We didn't get to go to a show, but spent what time there was for getting together chatting away. I like her boyfriend - he seems to be a great guy, and he seems to like me.

They were serving Tamales - WILL I NEVER SEE TURKEY THIS CHRISTMAS!?!?!?!?


Anyway, my father, in the guise of the rest of my family - as counting for both Christmas and birthday this year, gave me a new laptop + air card for Internet connection for the next year. He actually came through - even when he said it, I wasn't sure if it was really gonna happen, but it did.

Now, keeping in mind that I was driving up Sunday, my mother wakes me up bright and early to go to church. Now, it was nice - getting a chance to visit old friends and to let a lot of the people who had been praying for me know I was doing well. The funny part was that everyone was expressing sympathy about my voice - but they do not understand that it was RETURNING, not leaving.


Well, after church we went home and we had to make cornbread to go over to my Aunt's. This put us over there late, and we were sitting down about fifteen minutes before I had intended to leave. So, after a meal of stew - though it was good, still no turkey - and opening everyone's stockings (we all did stockings, instead of presents) and spending SOME time with family, I left out of town three hours late. The gifts were great. I gave every one a set of Chinese Harmony balls - everyone loved them.

The problem was, of course, that I wanted to make Midnight Mass back here in OKC.

With the rain and the Holiday traffic, I didn't make it.

Oh well.

Christmas Day was spent nice and relaxed with some SCA friends. I have to work today, and I did NOT want to have some half-baked night's sleep before work today. I FINALLY GOT TURKEY!!!

*happy joy dance*

Gotta run to work.

Happy Merry Hanachristmakwanza!

December 21st, 2006

Well, my voice is finally returning.

My step-father called last night, on behalf of my mother – he never actually calls me without reason. We don’t really have any kind of casual relationship. Evidently my mother, hearing that I had no voice decided that I was on my death bed and needed to stay in the City for the holiday. So, he called to encourage me to curl up on the couch and invest in chicken soup. I can understand that completely, it’s just that I’m not actually sick. If I felt bad, then I would follow his advice. But, this just happens every year. I promised him that if I were not better by the weekend, that I would stay home. The only other consideration is the road conditions. There was rumor of a winter storm moving into the area – which, it was drizzly and cold for a couple of days, but that’s all. It looks like brisk temperatures in the low 70’s for Christmas Day in Fort Worth.

At the other end of the familial spectrum, my grandmother was of the opinion that she had the flu. And, where, children, am I supposed to sleep Friday night? You got it. *grin* I just spoke with them, and her doctor said she will be fine on Saturday. However, I do have a contingency plan of my mother’s in case she isn’t improved by then. This actually make sense, because I’m going to end up there Saturday night, anyway. And, all of the festivities will be happening on that side of town. I find it ironic that after all the years my parents have not been married to each other anymore, that they now live less than ten minutes apart.

I went home last night and polished off the first season of SG1. Great cliff-hanger ending. I started in on ZIM, and love it. Even without a voice I was laughing until I hurt.

David, the guy from Brooklyn that I took out last week, leaves tomorrow. He called me this weekend and asked about going out, but that was when I really DID feel bad. Since he is leaving tomorrow (after taking his test today) I offered to come and get him tonight. Unfortunately, he’s not answering. I wonder if he and his class went out to celebrate. But, then again – he went out with them last week, too, but it was to a straight club, and he told me that he had more fun with me.

It was so funny – I guess New Yorkers really are just blunt and to the point. He was, in full voice and as part of conversation, asking guys if they were a top or bottom. The really funny part was that we met this little guy from Florida (original from Panama) who was the cutest little Hispanic I’ve ever SEEN. He had the most beautiful lilting South-American accent. GOD, I’m such a GONNER for Latin guys! *grin* And David is Puerto Rican – so, it was kind of like playing host to the visiting-gay-latin-men-to-OKC. I was in Hog Heaven. (pause – blink, blink – Did I say that in my OUTSIDE voice?) I would think, being from Texas, that I was used to Hispanic guys – but I love them still. Anyway, that’s about that.

If David calls, I’ll go out with him. But, if not, I’ll be curled up on the couch.

The verdict is still out about whether I’m driving down tomorrow or not.

I’ll update soon as I can.

Keep well.

Oh, and Jackson was my Secret Santa - he gave me a BORDER'S gift card. He really does rock.

(no subject)

There are certain inevitabilities in this life.

I will get locked out of my car.

My clothes will eventually be too small for me.

My mother will lose it.

And she has.

As I have lost my voice, but with her it is much more grandiose.

I should have known this was going to happen.

I am going home for Christmas for the first time since I moved here over a year back. Last year, put simply, I couldn’t make it: no car. It’s kinda that way. So, as a result, my mother welcomes me home by retreating into her own little world, and demanding that we all play by its rules.

I love my mother, I do – I really do. (and I’m not just trying to convince myself – really, I’m not)

I’m going to be spending time with both sides of my psychotic family this year – and each side is entirely jealous of the other. First, there is my father’s side of the family – matroned over by my grandmother, who rules with an iron fist. I have to be very careful not to let her know that I will be in town, or she will be hurt. This is the side of the family (a couple of years ago) that didn’t tell me we were drawing names for Christmas, so I didn’t get anything. When my cousin got married, they never even called me to let me know or invite me. There are three primary cousins over on that side of the family, and they are all like sisters to me. The only problem is that I cannot stand my father, or the Thing With Three Children that he married. She plays him like a cheap fiddle, which is kind of just desserts, since the man was quite the PLAYA even after I was born – at least up until I was in Junior High. I am actually there for my the family of my cousins – they are all sisters to one another and we grew up like brother and sisters.

I am splitting my time over the Christmas weekend with both of them. I’m driving down Friday evening after work to my grandparent’s, then going to spend Christmas with them on Saturday. They moved the celebrations to Saturday specifically for me and my schedule. At the time, I didn’t know if I was going to have to work Christmas Day or not. (Just found out I have to work New Year’s Day – well, at least I get paid well to do it.) Then, I am going to be over at my mother’s Saturday night to spend Christmas Eve with my mother’s family before I drive back up to OKC on Sunday.

Anyway, she wants me there about one in the afternoon on Saturday, and that’s when things will most likely be STARTING. She asked me when it was going to be done – It’s CRHISTMAS! How is there ANY way to know when it will be done. Quite frankly, I’m thinking about stealing away with my youngest cousin and catching a horror movie – What do you think about BLACK CHRISTMAS? I told her I would be over there as soon as I could. She is just determined that she’s not going to get enough time with me. I just feel a little torn – I love my mother, but every time I get near her she seizes hold of me like she’ll never see me again.

Evidently the movie with Jackson and Nichole was a great show. I ended up wimping out to go home and nurse my voicebox. Dinner with them was great. Nichole really is as beautiful as Jackson deserves, if not more. He doesn’t realize what a great guy he is. If he were gay, and single, and didn’t work with me, and maybe even a little younger – then I’d grab him up in a heartbeat. The only problem, is that all of the above breaks just about every rule I have in my book. *grin*

I ended up getting something for myself for Christmas after all – I saw the boxed set for INVADER ZIM at (of all places) HOT TOPIC ( read “Goth Topic,” or “Goth N’ Go” – but I really do enjoy the store). Nobody who knows me knows I like it or that it’s out, so I broke down and picked it up.

It turns out I have the place to myself for a few days. It turns out that John (Becca’s fiancé) has a grandfather in Kentucky going through the early signs of kidney failure. So, he is grabbing a load from OKC (taking Becca with him) into Kentucky. He’s not expected to live past Saturday. They are of course in my prayers. John, for the loss to his family, and Becca for helping a future family-in-law whom she does not know yet through a difficult time. It can be tough to just stand there and be supportive – particularly when you WANT to help, but aren’t quite sure how. She says she will keep me informed. They may not even be back for Christmas – it all depends on how the funeral falls. So, I am taking care of the birds and the fish on my own, which I don’t really mind.

Also, Patrick’s grandfather is going through daily chemo treatments from now into January. So, that keeps him tied to the City for a while, which is all right. It means that he can’t make it down for Twelfth Night. Elanore and attendant family are all very understanding and send their best, as well.

Not much else – kinda still waiting for my voice to return.

And, I am regretting that I have to work New Year’s Day. I may actually have some one to kiss come Midnight. And I wanted to spend the night gaming in the New Year. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. As I said, I get paid extra for it. The only thing, is that after Friday of Thanksgiving week, I only hope and PRAY they staff us enough to handle the queue.

I’m gonna go curl up on the couch and polish off the first season of SG1 (with which I am MOST impressed) and then descend on SIM.

Hasta ‘til next time.

Oh, and Happy Christmannukawanza!
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